Q I am a mother of a 10-year-old girl who is obsessed with weight loss. She is very thin for her age. She refuses to eat breakfast or dinner because she is afraid she will gain too much weight. I often find her in her bedroom looking in the mirror to see if her clothes are getting any smaller. I also find food hidden in her bedroom that I had given her to eat for dinner. Can you give me suggestions on how to end this obsession? Signed, "A Concerned Mom"

A Your concern for your daughter is clear and I'm glad you wrote. An eating disorder is an obsession with food and weight that harms a person's well being. Although we all worry about our weight sometimes, people with eating disorders go to extremes. People with anorexia are obsessed with being thin and do not want to eat. People with bulimia eat a lot of food at once and then throw up or use laxatives to remove the food from the body. Possible causes of eating disorders include feeling stressed out or upset about something in your life, or feeling the need to be "in control." If there are many stressors in someone's life, often what she eats is the only control she feels she has. Society and the media also put a lot of pressure on people to be thin, especially young, school-age girls.

Sit down with your daughter. Find out what's going on in her life. See if there is anything that's been bothering her. She may not open up to you right away, but just listen. Also, stay aware of the way your daughter looks. Is she so thin that she looks sick? Does her weight fluctuate a lot? Do you notice any of the warning signs of eating disorders, such as:

* Unnatural concern about body weight

* Obsession with calories, fat grams and food

* Use of medicines to keep from gaining weight

* Throwing up after meals

* Refusing to eat or lying about how much was eaten

* Fainting

* Over-exercising

* Not having periods

Realizing that your daughter may have a problem is a big step, and you should be commended for caring so much. Since eating disorders are a very complex and serious matter, it would be impossible to cover it fully in this column. What I'd like you to do is to seek professional help. Start with your family doctor, who can then recommend further help such as an eating disorder specialist or a psychologist. Good luck to you and your family.