I remember the first time someone publicly embarrassed me about my size. I was mortified, humiliated, ashamed, embarrassed the list goes on. I guess somehow as long as no one spoke of my weight it didn't exist. I always felt different and out of place and now my secret was out. Denial is really truly powerful and it does protect us. Food had become my world it gave me temporary relief.

My mother had become very ill and she was hospitalized for several month's. I was young and didn't understand what was happening only that my mother wasn't there and my father was either at work or the hospital to be with her. I can remember how excited I would get over going to someone's house that had soda and potato chips.

As my eating disorder grew so did my size. I would hide food I tried everything to control myself but my compulsive eating disorder had a life of its own. My family and friends always commented on my size and had suggestions. The more attention was focused on the food the more food I ate. I was truly in a cycle of food addiction.

I battled with my food addiction from the age of 9 to 31 years old. It wasn't until I went to inpatient treatment program that I was finally able to get a hold of my eating disorder. Today I know through that experience that I am allergic to certain foods. That I had to develop new coping skills in order to deal with life effectively, food could no longer be my coping mechanism. Today I have an amazing life and I share my story with others affected by eating disorders to give them hope. They too can recover from their eating disorder.

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