How do you teach your child that beauty is not skin deep if you don't even believe it yourself? Face it not many of us belong to the elite club called "the beautiful people." Most of us just rank somewhere in between. We're not monsters, but we are not model material either.

So why do most of us still strive desperately to be beautiful? I'm not talking about a beautiful spirit that is gentle and kind. I'm also not talking about a beautiful heart for the weak and poor, or a beautiful mind that invents and creates breathtaking objects. No, in our society, if you mention beauty it mainly entails physical appearance as portrait in the media and enforced by the masses.

Now I know a lot of people have written about this subject, and we have all heard the horror stories that make us feel a little better: The average mannequin would never be able to bear children, and fashion designers cater for size 2 to 12 while the average woman is a size 14 (I'm talking real women).

So we are pretty well informed about the need to change this superficial outlook on what is "beautiful" by now. Everywhere around us we can see the efforts of people trying to stop the rise in obesity and eating disorders. We as parents do our part to impress upon our children the importance of healthy rather than skinny, getting physically active rather than going on a diet, and eating for wellness rather than outward appearance.

However, if you as a parent still find yourself stuck in a rut of overeating, binging and starvation, your well meant words to change your kids' eating habits might have no effect. Unfortunately we teach mainly by example. Children are little observers and they will follow your example long after your words have fade away. If they see mom skipping meals, binging on sweets, and not making a real effort to exercise, they will probably follow suit.

Please hear my heart. I have been in that boat for many years and I know the horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach, realizing that your food addiction is rubbing off on your kids. We never want our children to suffer, we would rather take it all on ourselves. However, taking care of your addiction, getting out of your bad eating habits and learning to love exercise is the biggest gift you can ever give your children. It will make you a better, happier parent, because you will not be so preoccupied with food and the struggle surrounding it. But more important is the fact that you will have a heritage of a healthy lifestyle to pass on to your kids. And for those of them who already struggle with food, you will be an example that there is freedom and one can overcome this painful and humiliating way of living.



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