European publications report that increasing numbers of older women are being treated for anorexia. Eating disorders have been considered a disease of early adolescents and teenagers. The trend is a dangerous way cope with the fear of aging. Psychologists believe the eating disorder results when pretty older women compare themselves to glamorous celebrities.

Obsessing over appearance is dangerous at any age, yet there's nothing wrong with wanting to look good. Update your wardrobe, throwing caution to the winds. If you've been wearing conservative business or mom attire for the past few decades, step out of that mold. Try something new. One of the most glamorous fashion statements I've ever seen was the English teacher's wife who wore a Christmas ornament in her hair - in May! We can conquer the fear of aging by allowing ourselves to be creative and original in fashion, as in all areas of our lives.

Carl Jung argued that contemporary people experience empty lives because we have lost our sense of the spiritual and ritual significance of our place in the universe. As older women, we can dress stylishly and assume our role as guardians of wisdom - wisdom that we do not have to starve ourselves to be well dressed and look our best.

The London Mail attributes the spike in the eating disorder among older women to unrealistic expectations. Most of us did not have Madonna's body when we were 20, and we are not going to have it now. One of Jung's seven tasks of aging is facing life realistically. Other tasks of successful aging are releasing the concerns of the ego and becoming rooted in a deeper sense of self. Find like-minded people who share your passions in life. That is where our true self confidence originates, not in a mirror.

Other tips for overcoming the fear of aging: Enjoy a bubble bath, an aromatherapy mist, or a massage. Chat on the phone, blog a bit, volunteer and make a difference, learn an art, craft, or a new language. If you can afford it, take a trip somewhere you've always wanted to go. If you can't, take a day trip to someplace you have not visited in your own backyard - ever or recently.

These bromides for successful aging are not cures for anorexia, a serious disorder. Rather, they are prescriptions for reclaiming social values that honor the wisdom and creativity of older women.



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Enid_Sefcovic,_Ph.D.

For years I unknowingly lived in a world that seemed to me to hold nothing but fear. I was afraid of everything; especially myself, but at the time I knew no different. 25 years of Anorexia/Bulimia had become so much part of my life, that it was as unimaginable to live without, as the fear, intense self-hatred and feelings of worthlessness, I had also lived with, for as long as I could remember. I was a bad person so naturally I deserved all the problems and failures that resulted from everything I did.

What hope then had a poor sensitive horse, in a home that was run by someone who appeared to the outside world, to be completely happy and in control, but was inwardly a complete mess, existing each day on a diet of fear, anxiety, doubt, starvation, biscuits, chocolate, endless ice cream and visits to the lavatory to evacuate any food that shouldn't have been there.

Bronwen was truly beautiful, almost black; with a gleaming coat and, the longest eyelashes of any horse I had ever seen. To me, she was huge and quite terrifying, I had had sleepless nights over whether I was doing the right thing getting her at all, and had relented very much against my better judgment. She was to be a companion to the previously unwanted 12.2 chestnut pony that had been given to my 12year old son during one of his many brief but convincing passions; and at 15 hands she was to be there for him to ride, when he outgrew the pony.

Having never owned a horse in my life; with experience that was no more than a reckless, knee gripping out of control gallop or two on an old horse as a child, I was landed with the task of keeping myself from being trampled under foot by two very large animals, that barely acknowledged my existence, let alone treated me with any respect. I did realize very early on that perhaps I should have listened to my grave misgivings, as frankly I hadn't a clue what I was doing and my son was equally useless and lost interest very shortly after Bronwen's arrival. Strangely, it never once occurred to me to reverse my decision and let the horses go, instead I went all out, to learn how to be a responsible and enlightened horse owner; not just your average horse owner, no, my horses were going to be kept with a far greater quality of life than anyone else's; with kindness, sensitivity and an insightful educated knowledge of the world from their viewpoint, not mine.

In theory my plan was flawless, in reality I was in for a shock. In her previous home Bronwen had been a truly biddable, delightful, kind and genuinely well behaved horse, that however all changed instantly, when she found herself being ridden and cared for by a, self-doubting, self hating, fear-filled incompetent like me. From the moment we set eyes on each other she wanted to run as far away from me as she possibly could, while all I wanted, was for her to want to be with me, as passionately as I wanted to be with her. I was shattered; each time I went out into the field to visit her, she would turn tail and head off to furthest corner of her paddock, and when I finally caught up with her, her eyes would harden with fear and she'd strain to get away from me. Nervously I persevered, attempting to tentatively groom her, carefully avoiding her feet altogether for fear of reprisal; entering hopeless struggles with saddles and tack, and darting fearfully out of her stable before she could bolt or squash me against the wall; willing all the time for her to like me, just a little bit, but all this amidst flattened ears and threatening facial expressions. I felt completely devastated, at the same time absolutely convinced that the problem lay with me, she was simply reacting to the inner turmoil that she could see I was experiencing. She was scared of me and I was too. She longed for someone to lead her, and I was failing her miserably.

Weeks of battling went by, disaster followed disaster; when riding she would constantly move away from me when I tried to mount her; spin around in the gateway in a desperate bid to return to the security of her paddock, and if we did manage to actually get through the gate, she would find every opportunity to make her way home as fast as possible, and being stronger, mentally and physically than me, she almost always got her way. I was totally miserable and became completely obsessed with trying to find an answer to the dreadful problems the two of us were experiencing. Finally a possible solution presented itself, my son found the name of a horse whisperer who was prepared to come and help Bronwen and I resolve our differences.

I was so nervous and convinced that I would fail dismally at whatever he tried to teach me, that I almost abandoned the whole idea, only sheer desperation kept me going. I watched in wonder and amazement as this small insignificant little man had Bronwen eating out of his hands within only a few minutes. He barely moved and with the tiniest signals had her moving in circles around him, backing, stepping sideways and listening with both ears and eyes fixed on him attentively the entire time, her eyes never left him, even when she was supposed to be attending to me. His assistant explained to me that he had been communicating with Bronwen in a way that she instantly understood, because it emulated the way horses communicate within the herd.

As they drove away leaving Bronwen and I alone once again, I realized the biggest lesson I had learned was that I had to change the way I approached every moment I spent with her, completely change the way I thought, my beliefs about myself and my negative attitude to everything I ever attempted to do. There is no room for doubt of any kind when dealing with horses, they cannot cope with it; to a horse, where there is doubt there is fear. Changing the thought patterns learned over a life -time was going to be an uphill task and without Bronwen to monitor my progress and encourage me with her loving approval each time I got things right I could never have contemplated such a task. She softened each time she felt I was trying to change, her truly loving nature forgave and rewarded my efforts over and over again. I had put her through hell for almost two months, as I had centered on my own inner fears and inadequacies instead of focusing on hers. It was as though the whole time she had been my ego, her dislike of me reflecting my own self-hatred and her need to run away from me, my own desire to escape from myself.

As the months passed the two us devised ways to completely re-design the destructive thought patterns that had created the self punishing, soul destroying disorder that had over shadowed the vast majority of my life. It was trial and error; sometimes we had a break through and at other times we slipped painfully back into the quagmire of and old damaging thinking. From concentrating purely on myself, my ineffectuality and how worthless and undeserving I was of her regard and respect, I learned to train my mind, through endless discipline and determination to recognize only, the thoughts that really benefited me; the thoughts that remained positive, clear and focused. These thoughts were always the ones that produced the perfect loving results from Bronwen, I had craved for all along.

Learning to overcome the overpowering need to self-destruct, with only the help of Bronwen and the ideas I took from the natural horsemanship experts, who taught me so much about equine psychology, helped me far far more than all the psychiatrists, psychologists and counselors I had seen over the many years. On the way I began to see clearly from what I was learning, that this was a way forward for all the thousands of people out there who suffer as I did, from feelings of anxiety, low self esteem and self- loathing.




Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joanna_Corfield

There has been a lot of discussion lately on the roll of parents causing eating disorders in their children, is this the case or not? It is very sensitive topic because it is painful for families to even think that they are a possible cause of their daughter/ son bulimia and/or anorexia.

I am a medical doctor and suffered anorexia and bulimia for over 15 years. Also I have been involved in the treatment of hundreds of eating disorder sufferers. Personally, I don't know a family who wishes to foster eating disorders in their children. I would say that parents and the family do not cause eating disorders directly.

However, I know firsthand that the family atmosphere, parenting style and undiagnosed mental and emotional problems in parents contribute a lot to the development of eating disorders in their children.

There is a lot of research around about the roll of genetic predisposition in eating disorders. Yes, eating disorders do have a genetic component as well, but it is only the vulnerability to develop an eating disorder not the disease itself that people can inherit.

People can also inherit certain personality traits that make them vulnerable to developing eating disorders: like perfectionism, tendency towards anxiety and depression, competitiveness, impulsiveness and extreme stubbornness. All these can make people vulnerable to developing eating disorders.

It is the environment that turns people's vulnerability into the disease. The way people live their lives from their birth that can make genetic vulnerabilities become an illness.

The first and most important environment people have is their family. Often people with eating disorders describe how in their childhood they had a tense family environment where parents very strictly and controlling. Children in families like this don't have much space to experiment and to be free. These types of parents don't let their children find their own way in life, turning them into puppets that are forced to be followers and controlled by strict rules.

In families like this children turn to eating disorders as a way to control their lives the best they possible can and to find emotional escape in the space of their eating disorder.

The other type of families is the overprotective one. Their protective behaviour puts onto the child so many limitations that the child is likely to seek her/his freedom and escape in things like eating, non-eating and manipulating their own weight. These parents cannot let their children be different than what their mental image of them is or the way they think the child should be. They look at the child's achievements only from the angle of their own desires and opinions.

Most of parents in these types of families still want only the best for their children and don't even realize that what they are doing is bad for the child. Many parents have their own emotional issues to deal with, which are still unresolved and deeply rooted in their own childhood. Some parents maybe even have undiagnosed mental disorders like OCD or personality disorders. Because these disorders have never been diagnosed parents are not aware of them and continue to put enormous pressure on their children and other family members.

Many doctors and therapists consider that blaming parents for their children's disorder is not a good idea, because parents may feel guilty and shameful for the way they are themselves. These feelings of guilt and shame can stop parents from helping the child to recover and parents may even refuse to participate in the child's recovery program.

Nevertheless, it is proven now that if the family atmosphere remains the same a non- loving, demanding, restrictive and an overprotective one, the child has little chance of getting better.

The purpose of writing this article was not to put lots of blame onto parents, but just to warn the families of eating disorder sufferers that certain changes need to made in the family atmosphere if the family wants to help their loved one recover.




Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Irina_Webster

Seriously, let me get this off my chest and let you off the hook at the same time: If you are recovering from a food related issue such as overeating or binging, it's not a good idea to promise yourself that you will NEVER fall again. It's not so much IF we fall, but rather WHEN we fall. Victory over this disorder does not lay in the "not falling" but rather in the "getting up".

All of the people around you that seem to have it so together and make huge successes of their lives have learned only ONE thing that you didn't: how to get up!

We live in such a broken world, and yes it's not fair that we have to carry our cross on our hips (literally) while others hide theirs under their tiny sweaters, but we all struggle with something. Everybody has bad days and everybody falls!

If you have an eating disorder or struggle with food addiction you need to realize that recovery is a journey, and yes, the journey can be long and exhausting.

In spite of great victories and years without sugar you might find yourself in front of the freezer, eating ice cream straight from the tub when life throws you a curve ball.

Now don't think for a minute that I don't believe in miraculous healing. I believe that God can and will heal you from food addiction in an instant if He so chooses. However, if His will for you is to walk out your journey to freedom, then I would advise you to not live in denial, but rather arm yourself for the journey. To say "I will never, ever, ever fall for that again" is just setting yourself up for failure, self condemnation, guilt and shame.

So now that we've established that you and I are not the only ones with wobbly legs, the question remains: How do you get up?

What is the first thing that comes to mind after you have fallen and your eating is spiraling out of control? I'm not talking about the pre-fall-stage where you're still toying with a bite of this here and a morsel of that there, because at that point you might still feel that you have things under control. No, I'm talking about the flat-on-you-face-stage where you know you've once again lost all control, you binged for one week straight, all you can think of is your next meal and you've easily gaining five to ten pounds. When you hit that place, you know you're on your knees, you don't wonder anymore.

Usually I experience the following emotions and thoughts after a fall: First guilt, then shame, followed by it's evil twin; self condemnation. Then I usually I start looking around for someone to blame. In the end despair and hopelessness will sweep over me, and the enemy will whisper in my ear "You will never overcome this, you might as well give up."

I know all to well how intense these emotions of hopelessness can be and therefor I want to reach out my hand to you in your place of despair and tell you: Victory is not far away, but you have to act quickly!

The enemy can gain so much ground in our lives if we stay down. The longer you stay in that place the deeper you will sink. That place where you have fallen can change into a pit of captivity that can be your home for the next few months or even years.

WHAT NOT TO DO:

1. Don't look for a diet. Resist the urge to go on the internet and read up for hours on the latest diets out there. You will end up eating stacks of food while trying to find a "quick-fix" that does not exist.

2. Don't go over every little detail trying to figure out how it happened. It probably happened gradually and you can not change the past. Rather spend you energy on getting up and moving forward.

3. Don't blame your husband, your kids, your friends, my program! or God for your fall. Okay if you have to blame someone, start with the devil and then take responsibility. The blame game will just ruin your relationships and keep you laying down longer...

WHAT TO DO:

1. Always get back to basics! Diets don't work, pills don't work, excessive exercise doesn't work, and starvation just ends in binging and purging. So throw out those Chinese foods and chocolates and go stock up on vegetables, fruit, lean meats, granola bars for those weak moments and oatmeal for those carb cravings. Make a few salads, cut up some fruit and cook a chicken to be prepared for the first three tough days. You only need that first day of victory to turn this thing around! You might have a week of working it up to that first day, and that's okay, but keep trying until you get there...

2. Take it to God: Number One will not work if you don't give it over to God! Living healthy is just another diet if you don't surrender it to God! Believe me, after a fall you need a good cry before God. You might not know it, but at this point you might be avoiding God because you are so ashamed and you might be disappointed in Him for letting you down, again.

Tell God how you feel, it's not He who fails us, but He does understand that we feel that way sometimes, because He so understands our human nature. Not only did He create you dear sister, He became flesh and although He never sinned, He understands. Establishing daily time with God will be the only thing that will help you every time you fall, please trust me on this one!

3. Get moving! You know it, there's no easy way to say it, you have to find a way to get active! Exercise is a huge motivator to eat healthy. It also helps you fight depression and lack of energy that usually accompanies this struggle. Don't make anymore excuses! Never mind how great your obstacle, someone else has a bigger one, and God has an answer. So ask Him to help you find a way to get active DAILY! You can also read lots of free articles on my website about the benefits of exercise, choosing the right exercise for you and what to do if you simply hate exercise.

5. Tell someone! After talking to God about it, tell a friend, a spouse or a counselor that you've fallen. If you don't have anybody, please email me about it. I will be happy to pray for you and encourage you in any way I can. It is so important to tell someone else because there is freedom in getting the truth out there. It also gives us a clean slate to start fresh, and it always helps to be accountable to someone else. Don't let the enemy have a field day because you are to proud to admit that you have fallen. We all fall! I write about all my failures and nose dives on this blog for exactly this reason: To not give any room to the enemy by living a lie, and to encourage you to not to focus on the fall, but immediately get busy with getting up!

Don't keep laying down, it only opens a door for bitterness and unbelief. You don't need those in your life: Your God is Jehova Rapha )the Lord your healer) and he's standing right next to you with his hand extended, just waiting for you to take it, get up, repent, forgive yourself and keep going!

Proverbs 24:16 (NIV)

"for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity".



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Heleen_Woest